How The Old Life Ended
RIPBrad
9/27/1976 to 4/11/2004
My late husband's name is Brad. We were married for 7 1/2 years and had 2 daughters Emily and Chloe.
Brad died on April 11, 2004 from complications of Ehlers-Danlos Vascular Type. We never new Brad was sick let alone with a illness that would take his life at 27.
A few days before his death he said he felt like something is just not right (his words). So after a few of something just not rights and a few trips to the ER, he would die while in emergency surgery. Why surgery, well because the ER decided to finally do a CT Scan and found 6 aneurysms and he had to have a kidney removed. Before they rushed him into surgery the doctor had told Fred (his dad) and I that there was only a 20% chance of him living with taking out the bad kidney out. With this day and age that's not much to go on. I think that both Fred and I knew this was it, it would be the end. I would say that we still hoped for a great out come. A few hours went by it was hell to say the very least, then the doctor came out and let us know of Brad's passing. I was so numb I couldn't cry.
I can only tell you bits and pieces about the months to come, I just can't remember everything I was lost and just felt out of it. All I knew is that I had to get out of bed everyday to take care of our 2 daughters. Not knowing the first thing to do. I had never lived alone, I was never a single mom, I really never worked as an adult. Emily and Chloe was my drive to start over. I can't lie and say I didn't mess up from time to time because it felt like I could not do anything right, but we are all still here.
posted by Crazy Momma at
4:03 PM
1 Comments:
Jess, I've never experienced a loss, let alone my spouse. But just yesterday I looked up something on the Internet. I had a pastor who told me about Elisabeth Elliott. Her first husband, Jim Elliott has been one of my heroes for years. He was killed by a tribe of cannibals, whom he tried to tell about Jesus. Elisabeth stayed and eventually these same men did become Christians.
Elisabeth Elliott suffered the deaths of two of her husbands. The first one was Jim, part of a five man missionary team who were killed by the very people they were trying to reach. Her other husband died after a long battle with cancer. Here is what she wrote about the deaths:
“There is a great lesson tucked away in that mysterious book of Ezekiel. The word of the Lord came to the prophet, ‘Son of man, with one blow I am about to take away from you the delight of your eyes,” Ezekiel was forbidden to indulge in any of the accepted forms of mourning. He obeyed. How could he? It is always possible to do with God directs us to do. Ezekiel wrote, “and in the evening my wife died. The next morning I did as I had been commanded.” (Ezekiel 24:15, 18 NIV)
I remember the consolation I found in going about my work in Shandia when Jim died. There was twice as much to do as there had been when there were two of us. In my journal of November 1973, about two months after the death of my second husband, Addison Leitch, I wrote:
I find that routine is the best support for my soul. I can function with almost customary efficiency and concentrate, so long as I operate by habit – the sameness, ordinariness, and necessity are comforting. It is the interruption of routine that I find myself beginning to disintegrate and turn inward. This is hazardous, and I have to take the reins firmly and say ‘giddy-up!'
(Back to my own words now)
Yesterday, even as I was looking at this, I knew that the Lord wanted me to pass this on to someone, I just didn't know who. Now I believe it was you. I hope it means something to you.
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